Important Stuff-Like Eyes

I was talking to someone who's husband was scheduled to have surgery for an AN. Trying to remember things that would be helpful, I realized I need to add some things to my blog.

Eyecare is sooo important! I now have regular appointments with an eye Dr. to make sure I am taking care of my eye. I should have from the beginning! Because the nerves are compromised my eye doesn't feel how painful the situation really is. It has a permanent scar on the retina now so my vision in my right eye will always be a little blurry.

• After surgery I was given a moisture chamber. I asked a couple eye doctors if I could buy them at their office and they had  never seen them before. I got extras from Dr. Shelton's office and I found them on amazon for about $11.

• I regularly, like several times a day, use eye drops.

• At night, an ointment keeps the eye from drying out.

• A friend gave me her 4 wheeling sunglasses and I have worn them daily ever since. On the beach, on a boat, doing yardwork, etc. You can find similar ones at motorcycle shops or online. They have a foam insert that keeps the wind from drying your eye. I have had 3 different pairs from 7eye. I just replace the foam when it gets worn.

• The air conditioning and heaters are very drying in this desert climate. We installed a humidifier at home which is awesome. But at church, in the car, etc. I would have to wear a
  
  moisture chamber eyepatch. After wearing my sunglasses at night or in church I looked for something new. I found glasses for dry eye that are similar to my sunglasses. I got 2 pair and wear them driving, at night soccer games, fireworks, at home watching sunsets on the porch, airplanes, and at church. The brand is Ziena.  You can get any kind of lens in them. Prescription, transition, or even a clear lens like mine.

• I also sleep with a mask so my husband can use the fan in our bedroom. With research and some trial and error the mask that works for me is also found on amazon. It is Nidra brand. It has a velcro strap so you can adjust the width. The eye cups are firm so there is no pressure on the eye yet it seals well so it is pitch black. 

The Art of Patience

We have FHE (Family Home Evening) every Monday night. Sometimes we have a family council where we talk about schedules, or vacations, or rules. Or it could be an activity like carving pumpkins, or planting the garden. My favorite has been the birthday tradition. We all take a turn telling the birthday person why we love them, appreciate them and even like them! And we always end with some sort of treat. Yesterday, we went out for ice cream. But before that, Pete gave a "lesson" where we read James 1:2-4 and parts of a talk given by Neal A. Maxwell entitled, "Patience" (https://www.lds.org/ensign/1980/10/patience?lang=eng).

We all have expectations and sometimes we are disappointed if things didn't work out like we expected. We sometimes want to play victim and have any emotion we feel appropriate. And feel Justified in that emotion. We talked about some things but here is what i heard: Instead of complaining or being sad at what I am limited with or things I cant do that I loved, find Joy in the life I do have. Joy in things I can do.

His examples were things i had thought of before; a gym meet that didn't end as expected....; mom and dad didn't sign up for our lives to be difficult like this....; our dog having to be put down because of old age. The thing that made me look at things a little deeper was when he mentioned that Christian didn't sign up to be a baby when his mom had surgery. Although, that made me so sad, Pete followed it up with saying in spite of that he still chose to be a happy boy, starting kindergarten and enjoying life.

We all get to look at the wonderful things in life and not add up the unfair things instead. Christian may only be 5 but that is where we can try to be more like a child. Instead of looking for compensation, look for the happy. You'll find whatever you're looking for.

Mount Rushmore

Waterpark with cousins...Awesome!

Door County was CHILLY! We got cool hoodies to stay warm.

January 2015

It must be a while since I have written because it took me SEVERAL minutes to figure out how to get here.

Something very exciting happened this week! Wait for it....I wore heels!!!  Well I don't know if it counts technically because they were tall boots (so they stayed on) but they had 2 in. heels not conservative short wedges. I got to the point that I felt somewhat confident that I wouldn't have a spectacular spill.  I was going out without kids and I could hold on to Pete if I needed. I was anything but graceful but I soooo enjoyed it!

This Aug I went wake boarding with no expectations. I surprised all of us by getting up on the second try. My friend Sara Paul videoed this and then sent it to my mom.

"Who would have thought Amanda would be doing this 1 year ago."

 A day on a boat is always magical!

Although in April my therapist gave me a referral to Dr. Ward I didn't make an appt. until October.  I finally googled him and found he is a plastic surgeon who specializes in facial paralysis doing research for his degree and continuing for University of Utah. I had preconceived notions about my "need" for Botox, therefore it took me several months to see him. As I understand it though, Botox was developed for situations like mine, so, willing to try anything...

I hated the injections and as Pete and I were leaving the office I was certain I would never do it again. The next several days the injections began to take effect and I quickly loved the result. The muscle under my right eye no longer squinted when I smiled; the dimples from paralysis on my chin were gone; my neck no longer strained on my right; the muscles around my smile and forehead on the left were softened making things look more symmetrical. I love it! The number of staring people has dramatically gone down. Not that I mind the questions but most people won't ask.

 MAY                                     AUGUST

 NOVEMBER

  I'm not perfect but more ready to like pictures of myself than I have been for a long time.

I continue to wear a patch (moisture chamber) because my eye dries out here. In Florida, Seattle and other humid climates I hardly use the patch.  I still put eyedrops in. I still walk a little off balance. (People on the cruise we took were concerned about my drinking habits- but I don't drink!) My Mom and Dad regularly take Christian so I can sleep. Pete gets the kids to school in the morning starting at 6 so I can sleep till 9. I have many people making things soooo much easier and cheering us on. Simply put, we are blessed.

unfinished in 2014

A Draft that never resulted in anything and pictures never posted:

• a couple weeks ago I showed Pete and the kids my muscles :) Not very impressive.
• I wore a pony tail for the first time in months (because the shaved part was too short), but was having one of those days and thought the headaches would begin before lunch (because of the pony tail)...but I didn't have one all day. Yay!

Teri read that I wish I had a t-shirt to explain it all so people wouldn't stress about asking...so she sent me one.

BYU football game 2013. Yeah, it was cold.

BBGun target practice 2013 at Grandpa Nettesheim's. I was a good shot BTW.

Love the handicap parking.

In Nov. 2013 we went to WI for Pete's Grandma's birthday and we did some family history.

Just cause you deserve it. 

1 Year!!!! That is a good thing...right!?!'

Where to begin...The first of April was depressing. It was difficult to do anything above the "had to" list. On April 5th & 6th we had General Conference (2 days of apostles and the prophets giving talks, broadcast on TV here, that motivated, uplifted, refocused and everything good.) I especially thought Elder Uchtdorf was speaking to me when he said that gratitude was the catalyst to every Christ like virtue. I wanted to give back but I am not ready in ways that I normally do like babysitting, dinners, room mom, PTA, etc. So I felt like I could work at being grateful. I had been happy at Conference to have my family around me and no schedule, just good thoughts. And after a week of depression I was looking for the cloud to clear but it kept coming back.

On Tuesday April 8th it would be one year since surgery. My kids had spring break that week and it seemed it would be a great day. I had a appointment at the salon, horse therapy, and the kids were mostly packed to go to St. George the next day. But it ended up being the worst of bad days. I won't go into detail but looking back I think a main contributor was the pressure of what we were going to do to celebrate a year. Although I had planned laser tag, bowling and dinner with the family by 3pm I was in bed crying with no desire to go out. Pete was very good to let me blame him and not say anything but just love me and then after I had let it out, he let me sleep.  I woke up and the family was around the fire pit eating s'mores. I hadn't planned to join them but how could I not. It was pure happiness.

We were going south on Thur morning but nothing was holding us back wed afternoon so we told the kids if the car was packed we would get a movie and watch it at home. Halfway up the street to "get the movie" Pete said, "Should we just go to St. George?" After much disbelief the kids were hooping and hollering at that last minute decision.

The sun, and pool, and parks, and eating out were great timing. Pete and I loved it! I think the kids did, too. Pete hadn't had a true vacation in more than a year so it was well appreciated. On Fri we went to a park with the cousins where PJ hit baseballs, the kids played on the slides, Sydney and Lily explored and......I RAN!!! No lie!!! Some of us were kicking the soccer ball around and I was feeling pretty good at my progress when the ball went astray so I ran after it. I was so excited so I ran several times. Pete coached me watching me and telling me things like bend your ankle more and bring your leg up instead of around. It may have been 400 meters total but I ran. I was so excited that I wanted to celebrate but I didn't know how. Pete's brothers spent a couple minutes looking at different options on their phone and knowing I love donuts we decided on "Fractured Prune." It is a real place.   They make your cake donut and glaze it with toppings to order. It was a great place to celebrate.

I played some soccer with the family (kids, cousins, Aunts, Uncles) and was a pillar that people had to go around, but I moved. I don't think I should brag about stopping a 6year old's goal, but there it is. As wrong as it is I am proud of that.

Spring Break is over and it has been a challenge for all of us to accept real life. But we are back. Pete gave the kids a talk saying only 6 more weeks at school so work hard and then it is summer. For me, too.

Facial, Vestibular and Hippo Therapy Part I

There are two things I am not good at: typing and multitasking. Both of these make it less than ideal for blogging.

PART I

I am going to Facial and Vestibular Therapy again Tue Jan 21.  I went in Dec. and Janine measured my face a lot, took pictures and looked to see where I was at.  at one point I wore a new gadget she had as well. Ski goggles that also had a cover for the lens. The cool thing was that the lens was actually a camera that recorded my eyes. We did several tests without and with the cover and I was able to watch the computer after and see my reaction. She gave me several facial exercises as well as treadmill work and I enjoyed the therapist as a person.

She also gave me a copy of an article written by her mentor that explained the rehab for the face.
And a copy of an article written by an AN patient. The story and pictures of the patient were very familiar.

The fact that Dunkin Donuts is only a couple blocks away didn't hurt my mood. ;)

I also started a weekly hippo (horse) therapy. My mom found it and we visited to get the 4-1-1. (does that date me?) I asked Dr. Shelton about it and he asked what the benefits were and I was less than clear or helpful because I didn't know. He then asked if I like riding?
"I love it."
"Then do it - but don't spend a lot of money" he said with a smile.

My facial therapist said she loved Hippo therapy (she knew all about it) and thought it would be wonderful for me. So I tried it.  

The first day I talked with the Hippo Therapist there and told her my goals: to be a normal mom, not being tired all the time, strength to carry my babies up the stairs when they fall asleep, and anything else the horses could provide. She gave me a couple things to work on unrelated to the horse that I hadn't heard. (Standing on my right leg only, like a pelican, at set times, like the grocery line or commercials on a show, and sashaying several feet then changing the lead foot.) She asked about my horse history- western on Arabians-  so she ordered a white Arabian in his 20's named TJ. The horse had a person on the left as well as the right and someone to lead. Having all of them there felt weird. When I climbed on the horse from a ramp I couldn't believe my fear. What used to be natural was not easy. The horse walked and my "seat" was not even. I felt like I was going to fall off for 10 minutes at least. Now I could see why there were so many people and was glad to have them there. I had little more than a blanket for a saddle and tried to get even so I wouldn't fall. I would think I had it until the horse started walking again and I would start to fall again. I used my legs to hold on instead of letting them hang. I realized that equal does not feel the same on both sides. What felt like equal was actually pulling left quite a bit. I learned what was equal even though it didn't feel "right" and was able to mimic the feeling walking after, so I immediately starting walking better. I think one could see the difference and I could surely feel it.

I also did a few exercises to help with balance and limber me up. I put my arms out like a plane and slowly turned my torso with my head till I was parallel with the horse. Then I slowly rotated to the other side.  It sounds simple but it took all of my concentration and I was so tight on the right that I was sore. I did a leg lift thing that made me sore, too.  But I loved it.

As I was telling the therapist last week, I love being on the horse but I also like being able to talk about my "challenges." It feels like it is feedback here instead of complaining and it is ok that it is one sided.

Driving!

That's right. You heard correct. I said driving. I have started going to some places. Neighbors, church, dentist. My therapist said it wasn't as hard as it looks. I don't use balance and there is little body movement. As Pete said, I've done it thousands of times so don't be scared.  I am mostly concerned about my concentration, sight, and reaction time. Brain things. I keep it slow and only turn right or find a light so I don't dart into traffic. I take smaller streets that don't have a lot of traffic or speed. I have to have someone with me as a second pair of eyes and don't drive at night where it has a lot of glare. And I don't go too many places. I still get rides. :)It was a very big emotional thing. I had a bad week last week and part of it was feeling trapped and helpless. I couldn't run for milk, or a present or even down the street to pick a kid up. Now I can choose.

My face is slowly getting feeling on the right side. I can sort of half smile but I look cynical at best in pictures. I am doing better with eating out, a little bit less self conscious. Although Pete is good to subtlety tell me if I am wearing what I ate rather than eating it.  Some of my mouth is still numb so the dentist found a spot I had been biting and hopefully I can take care of it with super strength mouthwash.

I did stairs, curbs and grassy hills in PT but I failed at walking on the curb like a balance beam. Lets hope I don't get pulled over. I can throw a ball with my right hand in front of me instead of behind, if I concentrate really hard. I'll try overhand soon.  I wasn't so good at it last week. I was first base and PJ threw it to me a little low and to the left. I leaned in and ended up like a turtle on my back. I can "run" bases better than Memorial  Day, but I still can't run.

Toddlers don't look away so I ask them if they like the eye patch. They are too scared to answer. Adults wonder but they are too polite to ask. It is a little awkward at times.  I wish I had a shirt or pin to explain the problem so they would know. Friends ask, I just hope I don't talk  too much about it. I present like a stroke victim.

The summer is getting better because I am starting to plan things. it is far from normal but I don't think that is bad for the kids.

Rehab

I did get a valid handicapped thing from the DMV and it has been so nice. The only time the parking is full is PJ's baseball. I guess a lot of grandparents see the games. :) I am playing games for OT and doing dance steps for PT. I'm not good with the steps but they are helping me with steps and curbs. I am challenged  with all this writing (therapy) so I will post pictures.



Christian and I loved the fruit! I wore a lot of it.



PJ's Birthday





Lily received an award for 6th grade celebration. I'm not mad, just limited.

My new motto.





Last Week

There is difference between "frozen" and "drooping". The former being my term.  The right side of my face and  head was frozen for a long time. It was much like Botox, I am told, because it held the muscles still. It was probably swollen because I could do nothing about the peeling like a sunburn. Now my face really droops but I can move it around. I also realized that a massage chair is not good for me because my muscles in my head do not make my insides as still as they should be.

There is a small scar/incision on my belly from the fat they took to seal the cerebellum and replace the tumor in my skull. Believe me that the surgeons were not "plastic surgeons". Therefore, they did not make it the same on both sides. I am not complaining...just saying. I lost more weight from not eating and throwing up than my little transfer.

I can walk without assistance and only look somewhat like a toddler. But stairs and curbs are not my friends yet. I need assistance if not railings. I tried "running" bases when we went to the park Monday (Memorial Day) and played baseball as a family.  Christian could have beat me, and it took several tries before I could hit home plate with my foot, but I hit the ball all by myself several times. It was a small victory. :)

I am permanently deaf in my right ear, but that is the least of my problems. I don't notice much and the few times that I have I think "it would be more helpful if I could hear". Like when a child is whispering something, or I have to ask someone to repeat what they have said, or Pete sits on the wrong side at the movies.

Now summer is here I am excited and a little intimidated.  Syd and Lil have a designated day they are in charge of Christian. He is faster than me and he knows it.  He is still 3.

I'm back - kind of!

I’m not fixed and I certainly don’t have spell check figured out but I am writing just the same. My left hand has become more graceful and dominant while my right side has issues. I won’t be driving for a little while because of it, even if I felt mentally good enough to drive.  Which I don’t.  
 

Saturday, May 11, Pete took me to Ben’s annual birthday bash: a marvel movie, this one being Iron Man 3. He didn’t mind being seen with the one who couldn’t walk or the eye patch. I still haven’t taken the time to get a handicap decal so he had to drop me off and park. It was a great night despite the case of emergencies. (noise cancelling headphones, crystallized ginger, preggie pops, oxicodone, blanket, and hospital  space-saving  throw-up bag). It made me brave enough that we went to a park monday night just to enjoy summer.

We visited Dr. Shelton, Thursday May 16, and I failed the tests miserably on the right side. He said the temperature issues on my left side and the control on the right side are both cerebellum issues. He ordered a ct scan to rule out water on the brain (hydrocephalous) and ordered physical and occupational therapy to help.  My eye looks good for its condition and I got more patches.  

I have been getting my breakfast and filling up the dishwasher as a novelty. I’m not much help but at least I’m not much as a burden either. I waddle upstairs to put the kids to bed sometimes but I rely on others to do laundry and clean bathrooms.  Anything really important. The boys are taken every school day because I still take good naps. Even Christian knows the routine.  He tells me he cries for mommy and daddy but he has a house and he sleeps there. L But he says it in a smiley “reassure me” way.

 That is all I can type out as a left hander, double vision, kind of gal. As long as you are forgiving I will write more often.

The long road

With the kids back home and work starting up again, I've struggled to find the time and energy to update the blog. After this entry, I think I'll try small updates on a regular basis just so everyone can keep up on Mandy's progress.

She is walking a little more each day, but still feels motion sickness almost all the time as her body adjusts. She has times of frustration and the blues as we realize this is going to be a long-haul effort but she is pushing through.

Amanda is starting to get some feeling back in the right side of her face and tongue, but she still can't move anything (smiling, eye blinking, etc.) on the right side of her head. The right side of her body(arm, hand, leg, foot, etc.) still don't work like they used to but it seems to be slowly (very slowly to Amanda) improving. Her speech is much better and it continues to improve although there is still a pronounced slur.

Understandably, Mandy struggles at times with not feeling as pretty and useful as she did before the surgery, and yesterday she broke down for a little while. After a good cry session (her first one she would remind you!), she picked herself back up again and continued to practice walking on her own.

In a perfect display of timing, she shuffled to the kitchen table and opened several cards and gifts that reminded her people are still thinking of her and praying for her. That makes all the difference for her.

Thank you to the good friends and family that have been and continue to be so supportive and kind. She still has a long road ahead of her, but the thoughts and sweet gestures really lift Amanda up. We haven't been able to specifically thank people individually, but please know your efforts are noticed and so appreciated.

Amanda's birthday and the walking wounded

Amanda's dad is spending her birthday day with us, so it's the afternoon with the walking wounded. 5 days after Amanda had her brain surgery, Ray had quintuple bypass open heart surgery. The doctor indicated his heart is incredibly strong, and he is recovering well. Kind of neat to have Mandy and her dad spend some recovery time together. Between the two of them, we've got one complete person!

Kids stopped by to wish Mandy a happy birthday, and to show off the candy bar card they made for her. It was wonderful to see them again, and to hear the sound of the kids around the house (for a few minutes). Family and friends have been so helpful during this time. Tough to sufficiently express gratitude for the help we've gotten.

Yesterday, we visited Dr Leininger, who specializes in rehabilitation of neurologic and musculoskeletal dysfunction. He evaluated Amanda and recommended physical therapy for balance and walking and occupational therapy for the eating and facial control. We'll give the therapists a call Monday and get it all scheduled.

The drive down to Provo yesterday really took it out of Amanda. For once, I was glad the doc was an hour late because Mandy got to sleep and recover from the drive. By the time we got home, Mandy was spent and ready to sleep.

Progress is still slow but steady. Amanda is able to talk better and her balance is slowly returning, although she still needs assistance walking. It's frustrating for her to be in the role of care receiver when she is so used to being the one managing and running everything for our house.

It's fun to hear Mandy read to Christian again. He doesn't care about the slurred speech and facial weakness - it's just mom again. In fact, he thinks mom is even cooler because she gets an eye patch. As soon as he walked in he poked Mandy's eye patch and said, "You get a pirate!"

The boys visit

The first day home was a mix of good and bad. On the good side, it is wonderful to be home and Mandy isn't awakened every 2-4 hours by someone looking to check her vitals, ask questions, give medications, etc.

On the down side, nausea ruled the day. After riding the porcelain bus twice, we decided to hop off the heavy pain meds and try regular schedules of Ibuprofen and Tylenol. That seems to have helped. Mandy has been eating quite well ever since, and the nausea has subsided.


In the evening, the boys came to visit, and it was wonderful to see them. Christian was very affectionate and sweet. We forgot that he is very intense about life and he yells everything when he speaks, even if he is 1 foot away. PJ was so concerned about Amanda, and he just wanted to stay close to her and give her hugs. Sam was happy to see mom, but soon started playing tag and hide-and-seek with Christian. We hung their homemade cards up on the window.

Tuesday has been better. Mandy slept through the night and so far, no more barfing. Amanda decided with the nausea behind her, she would like to try pushing the walking a little more. She is a little frustrated that her walking has not progressed as rapidly as she has hoped.

We moved the recliner from my office into the front room and that is now Amanda's chair. I think that was her master plan all along! It's actually great to have a seat in the front room now where she can rest and be a part of the action. If she gets too tired, she reclines and takes a snooze.

Home at last

We made it home this evening around 5:30 pm. The car ride home was a little dicey for Amanda, but we made it. Sydney, Lily, and Julia came to visit mom, but it had to be a short trip - Mandy was spent. She loved seeing her girls, though. Jana and I agreed it would be best to have Chrisitan visit when both he and Amanda have gotten some sleep - good call Jana.

We had one vomiting session this evening because of the nausea, but got that cleaned up and Mandy did a little walking around the house. She thought about trying the treadmill but decided she needed to be able to walk on her own first - another good call. Made her a kefir smoothie to help with immune system and rebuild the good bacteria after a week in the hospital, and now I'm ready for bed. On to the next phase - recovery at home.

A New Day

Last night was long and hard for Amanda. She was nauseous all night and as she starts to slowly regain some feeling on the right side of her face and head, the feeling that comes first is pain. What cruel irony that the thing which will help her most in the long run (getting up and walking) is the same thing that causes the most nausea and pain in the short term.

As a small gift to let us know that after long, hard nights come hopeful, new days, the Lord blessed us with this beautiful sunrise this morning.



Sunrise view out Amanda's hospital room window

Our plan is still to come home today. With all the IVs out and prescriptions written, Amanda figures she can be nauseous just as easily by walking in her own house and lying in her own bed, as she can in the hospital. She's anxious to see the kids (in small doses still), and pass a milestone in her recovery.

Mandy continues to get a little better every day, but it will take time for this collection of little improvements to result in a more full recovery. Sounds like a metaphor for life.

Sisters

Today, Teri Anne, and I (mainly Teri) washed Amanda's hair to get out the blood and goop from surgery. We had to be careful not to get the incision wet, so we set up a garbage can on a chair next to Amanda's chair, and she leaned to her left so Teri could pour water over her hair and let it run into the can. I was on water and cleanup duty while Teri washed, conditioned and braided Mandy's hair. There was a lot of stuff in there, so I was glad Teri was here to wash it all out.

 Amanda, Teri Anne, and I did 2 laps earlier today, and Mandy has been able to steadily eat a little more each day. As a result, we're heading home from the hospital tomorrow, April 14. We're anxious to get back home, but Mandy realizes she still has a long road ahead of her.

Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but I suppose we take it a day at a time. We try to set plans for today and let tomorrow take care of itself. That's so much easier to say than do, but we're working at it.

WARNING- Incision Picture Below

We learned from our past morning experiences and today we let Mandy rest in the morning - smart move. She still gets nauseous first thing in the morning, which wears her out, but she ate a decent breakfast on her time and has been sleeping well with just Extra Strength Tylenol since then.

The bandages have all been removed from the incision area, and the doctors and nurses all think it looks terrific and is healing wonderfully. Is suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder on this one, but it's a relief to know everything appears to be healing well.

The surgeon visited us this morning and indicated we would shoot for departure on Sunday. However, he filled out all the paperwork so if Mandy feels well enough to go home today, she just needs to say the word and away we go. We'll see how the walking and eating progress today, but we'll plan on coming home Sunday unless her status changes in a more significant way today.




Amanda's incision healing well. The white band is for her eye patch, which keeps her eye moist
because she doesn't have total control over her eyelid yet and doesn't have feeling in her right eye

Running laps like Jeff Gordon

I left to check on the kids for a few hours this evening and came back around 9:30 pm to find Amanda sitting up in bed and chatting with Teri Anne. Mandy looked great and was part of the conversation like classic Mandy. I noticed the IV was out and she was free from all wires, tubes, and bandages.

After talking until 10:30 pm, Mandy decided to do a little walking. With Teri on one side and me on the other, we walked a full lap around the floor (about 1/10 of a mile). Mandy walked straight without a walker and with only minimal assistance the entire way. She was movin! As a reward, we snagged one of those double-wide wheel chairs made for the old people on the floor (they were all in bed), and cruised around the floor for one more lap with Mandy sitting up straight and taking in the amazing views from the 14th floor.

I  have high hopes we'll be outta here tomorrow and back home to continue the road to recovery from the comfortable confines of Cedar Hills. I think Mandy is most excited not to have someone wake her up every four hours to strap on the blood pressure cuff and ask her what year it is, where she is, and what month it is (apparently standard questions on the Neuro floor).

We seem to have hopped off the plateau and are moving up again. Good stuff.

Not a morning person

Mandy and Teri after the post-op shower

I'm not sure why I thought having brain surgery would suddenly turn Amanda into a morning person. We've discovered that mornings are still not her thing - especially for pushing rehab and eating right now. I crossed the fine line between encouraging and pressing this morning, and Mandy firmly told me it was time to leave her alone. Note to self - avoid morning goading. Moving forward, we'll let morning take care of itself and try to make more progress in the afternoon/evening.

Once she slept for a few hours, Amanda woke up ready to try a shower. This was a first for us, but with Teri Anne's help we did awesome. I discovered that women apparently use washcloths and men shouldn't try to do hair. Mandy commented that she was glad we're 15 years into marriage rather than 15 days because post-op baths aren't the most flattering events to go through. True statement. Teri Anne braided her hair and put a scarf on to cover the scar (sweet scarf Samantha), and I think she looks great. Mandy said it felt great to take a shower and brush her teeth.

Chocolate milk, fruit, and cottage cheese rounded out the early afternoon and it's time for some rest for Amanda

. Unfortunately we'll have to start the walking routine later this afternoon, which is just not a lot of fun for her - more of a necessary evil right now. She's now off the heavy pain meds, and is on a routine of Ibuprofen and Extra Strength Tylenol which we hope will help with the nausea.

We won't be coming home from the hospital today, but we'll shoot for tomorrow if Mandy progresses enough. The surgeon and I talked and he indicated there are general timelines for recovery, but it varies for each person. There is not a deadline for coming home, it will be when Mandy is more ready. That being said, she wants to go home, so we'll work toward tomorrow as our goal and see if we can hit it. If not, we'll shoot for Sunday.

Groundhog Day

Today sort of blended in with yesterday. Amanda continues to work at walking and eating, but its going to take time. We're learning to identify small accomplishments, like sitting up in a chair to eat dinner or getting to the bathroom with just one person helping. It's a bit of a realignment toward the immediate reality. We both talked about recovery being "hard", we just couldn't identify what "hard" meant - and I suppose there is no way to know until you pass through.

Amanda is able to eat a little more. She ate the whole cup of potato soup and polished off most of an oatmeal raisin cookie for dinner. She was able to sit and converse with Terri Anne for a good 20 minutes during dinner, which I think was very therapeutic for her.

We hoped walking would come easier today, but it didn't. Amanda's balance is a little better but she still gets nauseous and wears out quickly. I think we're supposed to go home from the hospital tomorrow; I just don't see how its possible. We'll tackle tomorrow when it comes.