I'm back - kind of!

I’m not fixed and I certainly don’t have spell check figured out but I am writing just the same. My left hand has become more graceful and dominant while my right side has issues. I won’t be driving for a little while because of it, even if I felt mentally good enough to drive.  Which I don’t.  
 

Saturday, May 11, Pete took me to Ben’s annual birthday bash: a marvel movie, this one being Iron Man 3. He didn’t mind being seen with the one who couldn’t walk or the eye patch. I still haven’t taken the time to get a handicap decal so he had to drop me off and park. It was a great night despite the case of emergencies. (noise cancelling headphones, crystallized ginger, preggie pops, oxicodone, blanket, and hospital  space-saving  throw-up bag). It made me brave enough that we went to a park monday night just to enjoy summer.

We visited Dr. Shelton, Thursday May 16, and I failed the tests miserably on the right side. He said the temperature issues on my left side and the control on the right side are both cerebellum issues. He ordered a ct scan to rule out water on the brain (hydrocephalous) and ordered physical and occupational therapy to help.  My eye looks good for its condition and I got more patches.  

I have been getting my breakfast and filling up the dishwasher as a novelty. I’m not much help but at least I’m not much as a burden either. I waddle upstairs to put the kids to bed sometimes but I rely on others to do laundry and clean bathrooms.  Anything really important. The boys are taken every school day because I still take good naps. Even Christian knows the routine.  He tells me he cries for mommy and daddy but he has a house and he sleeps there. L But he says it in a smiley “reassure me” way.

 That is all I can type out as a left hander, double vision, kind of gal. As long as you are forgiving I will write more often.

The long road

With the kids back home and work starting up again, I've struggled to find the time and energy to update the blog. After this entry, I think I'll try small updates on a regular basis just so everyone can keep up on Mandy's progress.

She is walking a little more each day, but still feels motion sickness almost all the time as her body adjusts. She has times of frustration and the blues as we realize this is going to be a long-haul effort but she is pushing through.

Amanda is starting to get some feeling back in the right side of her face and tongue, but she still can't move anything (smiling, eye blinking, etc.) on the right side of her head. The right side of her body(arm, hand, leg, foot, etc.) still don't work like they used to but it seems to be slowly (very slowly to Amanda) improving. Her speech is much better and it continues to improve although there is still a pronounced slur.

Understandably, Mandy struggles at times with not feeling as pretty and useful as she did before the surgery, and yesterday she broke down for a little while. After a good cry session (her first one she would remind you!), she picked herself back up again and continued to practice walking on her own.

In a perfect display of timing, she shuffled to the kitchen table and opened several cards and gifts that reminded her people are still thinking of her and praying for her. That makes all the difference for her.

Thank you to the good friends and family that have been and continue to be so supportive and kind. She still has a long road ahead of her, but the thoughts and sweet gestures really lift Amanda up. We haven't been able to specifically thank people individually, but please know your efforts are noticed and so appreciated.

Amanda's birthday and the walking wounded

Amanda's dad is spending her birthday day with us, so it's the afternoon with the walking wounded. 5 days after Amanda had her brain surgery, Ray had quintuple bypass open heart surgery. The doctor indicated his heart is incredibly strong, and he is recovering well. Kind of neat to have Mandy and her dad spend some recovery time together. Between the two of them, we've got one complete person!

Kids stopped by to wish Mandy a happy birthday, and to show off the candy bar card they made for her. It was wonderful to see them again, and to hear the sound of the kids around the house (for a few minutes). Family and friends have been so helpful during this time. Tough to sufficiently express gratitude for the help we've gotten.

Yesterday, we visited Dr Leininger, who specializes in rehabilitation of neurologic and musculoskeletal dysfunction. He evaluated Amanda and recommended physical therapy for balance and walking and occupational therapy for the eating and facial control. We'll give the therapists a call Monday and get it all scheduled.

The drive down to Provo yesterday really took it out of Amanda. For once, I was glad the doc was an hour late because Mandy got to sleep and recover from the drive. By the time we got home, Mandy was spent and ready to sleep.

Progress is still slow but steady. Amanda is able to talk better and her balance is slowly returning, although she still needs assistance walking. It's frustrating for her to be in the role of care receiver when she is so used to being the one managing and running everything for our house.

It's fun to hear Mandy read to Christian again. He doesn't care about the slurred speech and facial weakness - it's just mom again. In fact, he thinks mom is even cooler because she gets an eye patch. As soon as he walked in he poked Mandy's eye patch and said, "You get a pirate!"

The boys visit

The first day home was a mix of good and bad. On the good side, it is wonderful to be home and Mandy isn't awakened every 2-4 hours by someone looking to check her vitals, ask questions, give medications, etc.

On the down side, nausea ruled the day. After riding the porcelain bus twice, we decided to hop off the heavy pain meds and try regular schedules of Ibuprofen and Tylenol. That seems to have helped. Mandy has been eating quite well ever since, and the nausea has subsided.


In the evening, the boys came to visit, and it was wonderful to see them. Christian was very affectionate and sweet. We forgot that he is very intense about life and he yells everything when he speaks, even if he is 1 foot away. PJ was so concerned about Amanda, and he just wanted to stay close to her and give her hugs. Sam was happy to see mom, but soon started playing tag and hide-and-seek with Christian. We hung their homemade cards up on the window.

Tuesday has been better. Mandy slept through the night and so far, no more barfing. Amanda decided with the nausea behind her, she would like to try pushing the walking a little more. She is a little frustrated that her walking has not progressed as rapidly as she has hoped.

We moved the recliner from my office into the front room and that is now Amanda's chair. I think that was her master plan all along! It's actually great to have a seat in the front room now where she can rest and be a part of the action. If she gets too tired, she reclines and takes a snooze.

Home at last

We made it home this evening around 5:30 pm. The car ride home was a little dicey for Amanda, but we made it. Sydney, Lily, and Julia came to visit mom, but it had to be a short trip - Mandy was spent. She loved seeing her girls, though. Jana and I agreed it would be best to have Chrisitan visit when both he and Amanda have gotten some sleep - good call Jana.

We had one vomiting session this evening because of the nausea, but got that cleaned up and Mandy did a little walking around the house. She thought about trying the treadmill but decided she needed to be able to walk on her own first - another good call. Made her a kefir smoothie to help with immune system and rebuild the good bacteria after a week in the hospital, and now I'm ready for bed. On to the next phase - recovery at home.

A New Day

Last night was long and hard for Amanda. She was nauseous all night and as she starts to slowly regain some feeling on the right side of her face and head, the feeling that comes first is pain. What cruel irony that the thing which will help her most in the long run (getting up and walking) is the same thing that causes the most nausea and pain in the short term.

As a small gift to let us know that after long, hard nights come hopeful, new days, the Lord blessed us with this beautiful sunrise this morning.



Sunrise view out Amanda's hospital room window

Our plan is still to come home today. With all the IVs out and prescriptions written, Amanda figures she can be nauseous just as easily by walking in her own house and lying in her own bed, as she can in the hospital. She's anxious to see the kids (in small doses still), and pass a milestone in her recovery.

Mandy continues to get a little better every day, but it will take time for this collection of little improvements to result in a more full recovery. Sounds like a metaphor for life.

Sisters

Today, Teri Anne, and I (mainly Teri) washed Amanda's hair to get out the blood and goop from surgery. We had to be careful not to get the incision wet, so we set up a garbage can on a chair next to Amanda's chair, and she leaned to her left so Teri could pour water over her hair and let it run into the can. I was on water and cleanup duty while Teri washed, conditioned and braided Mandy's hair. There was a lot of stuff in there, so I was glad Teri was here to wash it all out.

 Amanda, Teri Anne, and I did 2 laps earlier today, and Mandy has been able to steadily eat a little more each day. As a result, we're heading home from the hospital tomorrow, April 14. We're anxious to get back home, but Mandy realizes she still has a long road ahead of her.

Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but I suppose we take it a day at a time. We try to set plans for today and let tomorrow take care of itself. That's so much easier to say than do, but we're working at it.