Where to begin...The first of April was depressing. It was difficult to do anything above the "had to" list. On April 5th & 6th we had General Conference (2 days of apostles and the prophets giving talks, broadcast on TV here, that motivated, uplifted, refocused and everything good.) I especially thought Elder Uchtdorf was speaking to me when he said that gratitude was the catalyst to every Christ like virtue. I wanted to give back but I am not ready in ways that I normally do like babysitting, dinners, room mom, PTA, etc. So I felt like I could work at being grateful. I had been happy at Conference to have my family around me and no schedule, just good thoughts. And after a week of depression I was looking for the cloud to clear but it kept coming back.
On Tuesday April 8th it would be one year since surgery. My kids had spring break that week and it seemed it would be a great day. I had a appointment at the salon, horse therapy, and the kids were mostly packed to go to St. George the next day. But it ended up being the worst of bad days. I won't go into detail but looking back I think a main contributor was the pressure of what we were going to do to celebrate a year. Although I had planned laser tag, bowling and dinner with the family by 3pm I was in bed crying with no desire to go out. Pete was very good to let me blame him and not say anything but just love me and then after I had let it out, he let me sleep. I woke up and the family was around the fire pit eating s'mores. I hadn't planned to join them but how could I not. It was pure happiness.
We were going south on Thur morning but nothing was holding us back wed afternoon so we told the kids if the car was packed we would get a movie and watch it at home. Halfway up the street to "get the movie" Pete said, "Should we just go to St. George?" After much disbelief the kids were hooping and hollering at that last minute decision.
The sun, and pool, and parks, and eating out were great timing. Pete and I loved it! I think the kids did, too. Pete hadn't had a true vacation in more than a year so it was well appreciated. On Fri we went to a park with the cousins where PJ hit baseballs, the kids played on the slides, Sydney and Lily explored and......I RAN!!! No lie!!! Some of us were kicking the soccer ball around and I was feeling pretty good at my progress when the ball went astray so I ran after it. I was so excited so I ran several times. Pete coached me watching me and telling me things like bend your ankle more and bring your leg up instead of around. It may have been 400 meters total but I ran. I was so excited that I wanted to celebrate but I didn't know how. Pete's brothers spent a couple minutes looking at different options on their phone and knowing I love donuts we decided on "Fractured Prune." It is a real place. They make your cake donut and glaze it with toppings to order. It was a great place to celebrate.
I played some soccer with the family (kids, cousins, Aunts, Uncles) and was a pillar that people had to go around, but I moved. I don't think I should brag about stopping a 6year old's goal, but there it is. As wrong as it is I am proud of that.
Spring Break is over and it has been a challenge for all of us to accept real life. But we are back. Pete gave the kids a talk saying only 6 more weeks at school so work hard and then it is summer. For me, too.
