Driving!

That's right. You heard correct. I said driving. I have started going to some places. Neighbors, church, dentist. My therapist said it wasn't as hard as it looks. I don't use balance and there is little body movement. As Pete said, I've done it thousands of times so don't be scared.  I am mostly concerned about my concentration, sight, and reaction time. Brain things. I keep it slow and only turn right or find a light so I don't dart into traffic. I take smaller streets that don't have a lot of traffic or speed. I have to have someone with me as a second pair of eyes and don't drive at night where it has a lot of glare. And I don't go too many places. I still get rides. :)It was a very big emotional thing. I had a bad week last week and part of it was feeling trapped and helpless. I couldn't run for milk, or a present or even down the street to pick a kid up. Now I can choose.

My face is slowly getting feeling on the right side. I can sort of half smile but I look cynical at best in pictures. I am doing better with eating out, a little bit less self conscious. Although Pete is good to subtlety tell me if I am wearing what I ate rather than eating it.  Some of my mouth is still numb so the dentist found a spot I had been biting and hopefully I can take care of it with super strength mouthwash.

I did stairs, curbs and grassy hills in PT but I failed at walking on the curb like a balance beam. Lets hope I don't get pulled over. I can throw a ball with my right hand in front of me instead of behind, if I concentrate really hard. I'll try overhand soon.  I wasn't so good at it last week. I was first base and PJ threw it to me a little low and to the left. I leaned in and ended up like a turtle on my back. I can "run" bases better than Memorial  Day, but I still can't run.

Toddlers don't look away so I ask them if they like the eye patch. They are too scared to answer. Adults wonder but they are too polite to ask. It is a little awkward at times.  I wish I had a shirt or pin to explain the problem so they would know. Friends ask, I just hope I don't talk  too much about it. I present like a stroke victim.

The summer is getting better because I am starting to plan things. it is far from normal but I don't think that is bad for the kids.

Rehab

I did get a valid handicapped thing from the DMV and it has been so nice. The only time the parking is full is PJ's baseball. I guess a lot of grandparents see the games. :) I am playing games for OT and doing dance steps for PT. I'm not good with the steps but they are helping me with steps and curbs. I am challenged  with all this writing (therapy) so I will post pictures.



Christian and I loved the fruit! I wore a lot of it.



PJ's Birthday





Lily received an award for 6th grade celebration. I'm not mad, just limited.

My new motto.





Last Week

There is difference between "frozen" and "drooping". The former being my term.  The right side of my face and  head was frozen for a long time. It was much like Botox, I am told, because it held the muscles still. It was probably swollen because I could do nothing about the peeling like a sunburn. Now my face really droops but I can move it around. I also realized that a massage chair is not good for me because my muscles in my head do not make my insides as still as they should be.

There is a small scar/incision on my belly from the fat they took to seal the cerebellum and replace the tumor in my skull. Believe me that the surgeons were not "plastic surgeons". Therefore, they did not make it the same on both sides. I am not complaining...just saying. I lost more weight from not eating and throwing up than my little transfer.

I can walk without assistance and only look somewhat like a toddler. But stairs and curbs are not my friends yet. I need assistance if not railings. I tried "running" bases when we went to the park Monday (Memorial Day) and played baseball as a family.  Christian could have beat me, and it took several tries before I could hit home plate with my foot, but I hit the ball all by myself several times. It was a small victory. :)

I am permanently deaf in my right ear, but that is the least of my problems. I don't notice much and the few times that I have I think "it would be more helpful if I could hear". Like when a child is whispering something, or I have to ask someone to repeat what they have said, or Pete sits on the wrong side at the movies.

Now summer is here I am excited and a little intimidated.  Syd and Lil have a designated day they are in charge of Christian. He is faster than me and he knows it.  He is still 3.